Skip to main content

The beauty of a morning

Now for something different

Today was a bank holiday and I spent the day with my family at home. On days like these, when we don't expect any visitors and don't have any agenda for the day we just hang out at home and everyone is pretty much free to do as he wishes. On this occasion we even managed not to spend too much time on housekeeping or gardening, a default activity of house owners with virtually no substantial return on investment. Because of my morning routine I am always the first one to get up and I consider it an utter privilege to witness everybody's 'start the day process' as the morning unfolds. The first ones to join me early are our cats - the standard routine is that I prepare their breakfast. Eventually they eat, I read. Then they either take a nap or they leave to follow nature's call. Today however something extraordinary happened: our lady cat approached me in my reading chair and complained about something. I didn't get what she wanted until she hopped into my lap and I had to cuddle her. Our cats are cozy creatures, but also smart. None of them approaches strangers easily but they adore each of us - on rare occasions like this they also show their admiration. Also: They lose a lot of hair these days and she left me completely covered in bushes of cat hair. Chances are she indeed might have had a hidden agenda there. Once the little lady's cuddle-need was saturated she went her way and I was able to return to reading. Until a few minutes later my son approached me without saying a word - not too much of a surprise: he has Finnish origins. On arrival he just laid down in my lap with half a dozen of his cuddle animals - cuddle time. After a while his brother and my wife joined us and we had a lazy long breakfast with some really delicious crêpes.

Roots in the Ground

When I moved to Bonn in 2006 it was because of my job with the military. At the time my average duration of assignments was less than two years. Hence I was pretty sure I would not remain in one place for too long. When I was young we used to move a lot. During the first years after our emigration from Hungary we moved more than a dozen times - sometimes we stayed at some place for just a couple of weeks or even months. 

Sometimes my wife and I fantasize where else we might live - a few years back Finland was a serious candidate. In the end we chickened out because of the length and the bitter cold of the Finnish winters. My sons never want to move to another place anyway. The reason I am telling this is because today I realized something very important: That even though we have only lived a few years in a house with a garden we have unknowingly fallen in love with our home. Though we never run out of things to improve in our house we have rooted ourselves in our home and are all invested emotionally. This is an experience I never had in my youth. Therefore it struck me when I realized that if we ever are to move again it is going to be a tough departure. Even if our next home is a luxurious mansion or even a fairy tale castle (and the odds are heavily stacked against such dreamy scenarios), it would still be hard to abandon our current home with all the memories that we associate with it.

Necessity vs negation of nostalgia

It is a regular pastime of mine to declutter my life and my possessions. I came to enjoy getting rid of objects that I only possess because of mere nostalgia. By 'nostalgia' in this context I refer to an emotional attachment to objects that have either lost their purpose or that I don't require/use any more. My wife is even more consequential than I in ditching stuff - she's a real pro when it comes to material minimalism. The only exception to this habit of ours is kids' stuff. I start to see a tendency to a material investment and an emotional investment here that has not always been typical for any of the two of us. Apparently you cannot really avoid emotional attachment to certain objects in your life once you have a family of your own. Maybe we all need a change of mind and learn to accomodate for some amount of nostalgia in our lives. We will need to be more comfortable with a certain degree of nostalgia at least as long as it does not obstruct necessary future development and progress.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Learn To Unlearn

Be Brilliant Subject matter expertise has its perks. Being an expert on any field requires deep learning as well as deliberate practice over years and years. The more professional experience you gain the more you'll swap a minimum principle mindset ('What do I need to do to achieve XY?') for a maximum principle ('How much can I possibly achieve with my available resources?'). When I started as a consultant I had a very basic and fragmented knowledge in most of the technical aspects in my subject matter. At the time I was already a certified and experienced supply chain management expert with some merits. However, as the branch I had worked in (military and defence) neither used the latest technology nor had a business model that promoted short development or change cycles in leadership or management, I did not feel 100% competitive. Therefore I faced some serious challenges when I started my career in the private sector.  At the time when I joined a consulting compa...
Post a Comment
Read more

If It Helps Someone, It's Valuable

The World Is Full Of Problems  This is good news. Actually it is great news. Problems are opportunities for growth - if you are able to find -and successfully apply- the solution to a problem that will help someone in any way, you will inevitably create value. If you can find a solution to a big problem (e.g. cure for cancer) you will create an immense value. If you can find a solution to a not so gargantuan, but widespread problem, you will have created tremendous value. But even if you find a solution to a small problem that will benefit a few people, you might still have the benefit of being able to learn something valuable that you can apply later in the solution of greater problems. Don't let yourself be discouraged by the (lack of) magnitude of problems: keep your eyes open and help people even if they do not approach you proactively - this will invite good things to happen to you in the long run. However not everybody in the workforce seems to have the proclivity to solve pr...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to Negotiate Your Salary #7 Strategy Basics

Negotiation Strategy Basics Before engaging in any negotiations you should set up some rules and guidelines for how you plan to approach the situation. Let me elaborate on some basic principles of negotiation and focus on some specific strategies that I was able to apply effectively on multiple occasions. I was able to negotiate multiple work contracts that were mutually satisfying and I was always happy to sign each one of them. Most importantly however: looking back at all the deals I am still happy with each one of my decisions. I accredit this fact to successful negotiations. Principle I The Invariant of Negotiations: Foster Relationships All negotiations should lead to better relationships between the parties. Your paramount objective ought to be to enjoy the debate and to learn something, regardless if a deal is cut or not. Remember you all have a mutual interest and both parties will do their best to find common ground. Hence your focus should not be on convincing your counterpa...
Post a Comment
Read more