David Nyeste

Notes to my future me Crabs and Climbers This week I adressed an 'inconvenient truth' at work. Disclaimer: I have a huge part in it. I give the blame for all to the fact that I easily subscribe to 'Crab-Mentality'. That one is quickly explained: Imagine a bucket full of living crabs. Cooperative crabs could easily escape their captivity: They would help each other to overcome their bucket-prison - piece of cake. Lots of resourceful crabs would create a climbing-crew and release each and every one into freedom - no one is left behind. Crabs Instead something different happens. The crabs pull each other down and hinder any crab to escape successfully. "If I can't have it, nobody can." is the motto. The result is well known: everyone is worse off, or more specifically: in the end all crabs end up as a yummy dish. Climbers The -more constructive- opposite of the crab mentality is the climbers' mindset. It is pro cooperation and its purpose is to improve sy...

Notes to my future me Receiving Feedback After having given feedbacks to some colleagues in the past weeks and months I regularly felt a strong urge to give some feedback to the feedback recepients on receiving feedback (read that again more slowly if you like :-) ). Here's what I would have given them as a tip for the future: 1. Listen and understand - active listening means laser-focus on the things being said. Taking some notes can be helpful. 2. Never (never EVER) explain, downplay, justify, comment, etc.. Feedback is never exclusively about you - your FB-giver is always part of the story. 3. Ask for clarity - in case you feel you're still in the woods, seek clarity. To understand means to understand without ambiguity and to understand all that was said. Let this claim be the only source of your questions. 4. Pick the cherries - Only you know your journey. Only you can know what helps you reach your harbour. Take what you consider useful, leave the rest and move on. 5. Say ...

The World Is Becoming Crazier By The Day  As a native Hungarian who has been living in Germany for almost 40 years I am always tempted, and therefore rightfully suspected, of feeling smug. When the 'authoritrian democrat' Victor Orbán was elected to power, my Mom told me:"If I had not left Hungary back in 1985 for good, I'd certainly do it now." When I talk to family or friends about Hungary, we actually mostly refer to it as 'Orbanistan'. Eventually, after almost 40 years in Germany, she left again for good, to enjoy her rent in -you will not have guessed it- Hungary.  These are crazy times and I can't shake the impression that the world is getting crazier by the day. The first time this occured to me was, when Donald Trump was elected as the 45th president of the United States of America; I remember feeling an odd surprise. (Actually, now thinking about it, 911 was more of a devastating paradigm shift and an even deeper shocking surprise. It was only...

The World Is Full Of Problems  This is good news. Actually it is great news. Problems are opportunities for growth - if you are able to find -and successfully apply- the solution to a problem that will help someone in any way, you will inevitably create value. If you can find a solution to a big problem (e.g. cure for cancer) you will create an immense value. If you can find a solution to a not so gargantuan, but widespread problem, you will have created tremendous value. But even if you find a solution to a small problem that will benefit a few people, you might still have the benefit of being able to learn something valuable that you can apply later in the solution of greater problems. Don't let yourself be discouraged by the (lack of) magnitude of problems: keep your eyes open and help people even if they do not approach you proactively - this will invite good things to happen to you in the long run. However not everybody in the workforce seems to have the proclivity to solve pr...

Strategic Considerations To me it has always been of paramount importance to have a vision of my model identity. In order to develop towards that ideal my role models would help me strengthen that vision. One effective strategy to find fitting role models is to pick the right environment. Certain organizations will promote specific types of personalities over others. For example in the military there is a tendency to recruit engaging, clearly structured people who have a natural preference to take decisions and action in the face of danger, i.e. under pressure. Thus firm leadership is a skill that is highly valued in military organizations. Other organizations might promote creativity, diversity, individualism and so on. Ask yourself which values you regard as the most precious and then look out for organizations whose values might match best. How To Be A Role Model The good news: setting the bar for being a role model will entirely be up to you. It is your own mind first that you need...

Being Brave with Big Brutes How do you handle people who have an overlarge ego and a virtually insatiable hunger for status and attention? Managing people or groups of people with some 'challenging individuals' can be tricky, especially if you are in charge of a meeting or a project. Thus you will want to keep the balance and grant everyone their fair share of sunlight. In consulting I learned a funny but accurate term for these types of people: the 'silverback'. Typically silverbacks have a tendency to underline strong convictions with vigorous statements even in case their position is not firmly backed by facts or evidence. Sadly these people can sometimes intimidate peers who don't have an overlarge ego or don't have any bias to bold and brazen behaviour. Here are five ways I found effective to deal with 'silver backs' to everybody's advantage: 1. Avoid confrontation - Don't be confrontational with silver backs. In fact, don't ever be con...