Skip to main content

Notes to my future me


Receiving Feedback

After having given feedbacks to some colleagues in the past weeks and months I regularly felt a strong urge to give some feedback to the feedback recepients on receiving feedback (read that again more slowly if you like :-) ).

Here's what I would have given them as a tip for the future:

1. Listen and understand - active listening means laser-focus on the things being said. Taking some notes can be helpful.

2. Never (never EVER) explain, downplay, justify, comment, etc.. Feedback is never exclusively about you - your FB-giver is always part of the story.

3. Ask for clarity - in case you feel you're still in the woods, seek clarity. To understand means to understand without ambiguity and to understand all that was said. Let this claim be the only source of your questions.

4. Pick the cherries - Only you know your journey. Only you can know what helps you reach your harbour. Take what you consider useful, leave the rest and move on.

5. Say "Thank you" - Your feedback donor saw you, heard you, thought about your behaviour and took time to open a new perspective to you. Show some gratitude - no matter if and how you will later use what was given to you.


What is your tip for better feedback?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Learn To Unlearn

Be Brilliant Subject matter expertise has its perks. Being an expert on any field requires deep learning as well as deliberate practice over years and years. The more professional experience you gain the more you'll swap a minimum principle mindset ('What do I need to do to achieve XY?') for a maximum principle ('How much can I possibly achieve with my available resources?'). When I started as a consultant I had a very basic and fragmented knowledge in most of the technical aspects in my subject matter. At the time I was already a certified and experienced supply chain management expert with some merits. However, as the branch I had worked in (military and defence) neither used the latest technology nor had a business model that promoted short development or change cycles in leadership or management, I did not feel 100% competitive. Therefore I faced some serious challenges when I started my career in the private sector.  At the time when I joined a consulting compa...

Happiness And Anxiety

Just A Feeling Despite all the drawbacks caused by the pandemic I have to admit that ever since the kids were born I have been feeling more happy in general. To set the stakes even higher, I have already been pretty damned happy ever since I met my wife several years earlier. Maybe it is because the kids fill me with hope that all is good and is steadily improving. Also they give a whole new purpose to everything in my life. I have only really had a few significant stretches where I felt so beaten down or lethargic, that I had issues to motivate myself. There were only three significant times I was struggling with my decisions and had serious doubts that I made the right choices.  Freaking Out In The Barracks The first time was in 1998, when I signed a contract as a contract soldier for 12 years. During my first couple of days with the military the magnitude of my decision sank with the utmost brutality. It totally freaked me out. I spent the first night in some spartan barracks in...

Failure Culture

The Default State of Society The other day I read a post on my company's intranet that stuck with me and made me think. I'll try to give it in my own words: A teacher entered the class room and started to write equations on the board. 1x9 = 9 2x9=18 3x9=27 The class watched and there was only the usual murmur while the teacher proceeded. 4x9=36 5x9=45 6x9=54 7x9=63 8x9=72 9x9=81 10x9=91 On finishing the teacher turned to the class and noticed some murmurs and giggles. He paused for a moment and the giggles increased. Some pupils started to laugh and after a while others joined in until a majority of pupils found amusement in the teacher's mistake and joined the laughter. After a while, when the laughter dampened down, the teacher said: "I made this mistake on purpose in order to demonstrate a point. I wrote ten equations on the board, of which nine were absolutely correct. Most of you however decided to focus on the one equation that was false. None of you gave me any ...